You know what, fuck Mr.X for messing with my emotions. Today he gives SFX his jacket and helps her up, and acts all cute with her and act like I don’t exist, well fuck him (I feel like this dialogue is occurring in a recurring pattern). I have his precious jacket, let’s see how he feels when I burn it up like he set my heart on fire. Well, I don’t want to actually burn it up, but I am definitely considering it. Look I don’t want him to think that just because I sit up on that bridge contemplating my thoughts in my own mind, that I’m depressed every time he talks to another girl. Look, it’s true I like him, and I liked him for 3 fucking years. If that isn’t committed, then I don’t know what is! Friends, classmates, even my own brain is telling me to move on and look for someone else, someone who would really appreciate me. However, it is better said than done.
Uh hello, 3 years of bottled up emotions here ready to explode, I am not about to just throw it all away in a heartbeat. I mean I could blame his looks, and use that as an excuse to move on, but I didn’t fall in BLANK with his looks, I fell in BLANK with what was inside him (NOT HIS DICK). Look if I were in elementary school, I would be bawling my eyes out about now, but I’m a big girl, so I’m going to pull my big girl bras up, march forward and find out why? Why the fuck does Scarlet Ramerez, a pretty smart girl, not bad looking, outgoing, and corky like myself still doesn’t have man candy….Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself but I’m thinking, and that is what I will do until my thoughts fall on what really matters school; just until I finish all my exams and figure out how to do chemistry.