French, the language of seduction and romance, for me, it will be the breaking point of my grade 11 year. I think I have a better chance of being 6ft than relearning 20 grammar rules and 8 sets of vocabulary. With that said and the stress at its peak, story time. So a couple of events have you know, waltzed my way that inspired a tale, a lesbian Mr.X seducing a Bi girl with a jealous boyfriend, and my incapability to pull up a guy who weighs double me and thus resulting in me falling on top of him, and well you know the rest. So without further adieu let’s get into it.
SFX was walking from chemistry with Mr.Blueberry. They were talking about moons, stars, and some philosophical mumbo jumbo that those two may or may not talk about (I don’t third wheel those two…their shit is their own). As they were walking, Ironfuckmewoman runs up behind SFX and playfully spanks her ass. Mr.Blueberry astonished pulled SFX closer to him to avoid the seething cauldron of pure Beastiality that is Ironfuckmewoman. SFX smiled at Mr.Blueberry and said, “You may be my boyfriend, but she is my bitch.” He replied, “Although that may be true, I am your number 1.” Ironfuckmewoman smirked and said, “SFX would kiss me, but she wouldn’t kiss you if you were the only human on earth.” Mr.Blueberry started, “Don’t you think that’s a bit exag-” Before he could finish his sentence, Ironfuckmewoman took SFX by the waist, pulled her closer, and kissed her. SFX held Ironfuckmewoman’s face as their lips met and their hearts connected. Although SFX had a boyfriend, her true colours showed through that day with a momentary kiss that she would never forget. “Shove your words up your ass Mr.Blueberry,” Ironfuckmewoman said as she and SFX laughed at Mr.Blueberry’s baffled expression. I mean Mr.Blueberry, you should have seen it coming, you knew that she was Bi even before you started dating her, you should not be too jealous if she makes out with other girls, just accept it, embrace it even. (wait is it just me or is Bi backward is IB, so does that mean that everyone in IB is Bi…not assuming any classification here, just observing).
Okay so hear me out when I explain this logic to you, imagine tiny old me, trying to lift up a guy that weighs double me. Not a miscible concept, and frankly even though I try explaining this to Mr.X and Mr.Blueberry, they seem convinced that I can lift up Mr.Sexy by hear this; grabbing his arms, standing on his feet, leaning in, and pulling. Uh hello, you need upper body strength and balance for that shit and I got neither so no, I can’t do that. But no, they seem so convinced that I could do it so I had no choice but to try it out today. During lunch, I tried their “tactic,” more like a recipe for disaster. One minute I was leaning to pull Mr.Sexy up, the next thing I knew, I had fallen on top of Mr.Sexy, and don’t mind me but I may have touched his dick in the process of the fall. Hey, it wasn’t like I could control the position of hands while I’m falling.
See kids, this is what stress does to you, you do stupid things that make you very stupid. You conjure up imaginations of Mr.Blueberry fucking SFX while she’s making out with Ironfuckmewoman, or a threesome with your favourite female celebrities (Selena Gomez, Shakira, and Sofia Vergara… just saying). All I’m trying to say is, I’m tired, I have no energy, and this is not my best shit, but it is partially the truth, we do stupid things and you just grow a dick and deal with it (for guys, they get a pussy and deal with it). Anywho, my rant is about done, but let’s face it most of us are done at this point, and this entry just proves how damaged we (or just me) are.