How to Spot a Fuckboy from a Mile Away

He has a girlfriend…an on and off thing but he has girlfriend. I was his side chick, his temporary replacement until things worked out. As these lethal words appeared on my screen, I thought to myself, “huh, this morning I woke up with a smile on my face and a skip in my step.” Mornings came and left and as the afternoon creeped up, so did the truth. I was never his girl, I was never his anything. I was merely a friend with a benefit, a benefit to satisfy his putrid dick. Fuck, I just got played, and instead of being the victim, he made me the villain. He said that it would be considered cheating if we continued “dirty talk.” Oh bitch, you’re a fuckboy and I feel bad for the girl that you’re currently with. Now instead of ranting about this worthless piece of shit who I dare not waste any tears on, I will instead create a guide to help girls spot a fuckboy from a mile away:

How to Spot a Fuckboy from a Mile away:

  1. His primary source of communication is Snapchat (easier for the nudes)
  2. He often uses the phrase “Babe if I was with you rn…the things I would do to you”
  3. He uses a regulatory time to text you (for me it was fridays at 11 at night…in bed and it was me who always had to sext him with erotic stories… no nudes)
  4. You are the one who always has to start the conversation
  5. The idiot wants to play “would you rather” dirty edition or 20 questions
  6. Don’t fall for the flattery, it’s just to lure you to make him feel better and for you to be more willing to do more for him
  7. He does not believe in labels
  8. He claims to not be good in relationships
  9. He does not want to delve deeper to get to know you
  10. He flakes on plans last minute
  11. Even if you meet-up it is not for long
  12. He forgets your birthday
  13. He is scared of any deeper emotions and acts of compassion
  14. He uses the phrase “I love you,” as a term with no depth, no meaning and is overall a lie

So girls, don’t fall for sweet talk like me, and even if you do, listen to your friends because unlike you, their vision is not clouded with lust like yours. To my fellow fuckboy, may your soul be restless in hell, because you played a girl that could have given you so much. You are dead to me.

I should have known better… happily ever afters don’t fuckin exist unless you’re acting. Disney could kill themselves cause their unreality is what little girls like me grow up on, and now I know you guys are just as bad as fuckboys, you ruined my entire life. Thank you.  


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